Who the fuck am i?

it's been 21 years, and i still dont know who am i. if this world has a purpose then maybe every human that has born in this world has their own purpose and destiny. Who make the humans purpose? i dont know it still mistery, is there a God? i dont know. because if God exist why this world is much complicated and why God himself not help human to be all happy. This world the world i am living is full of mistery. if this world is a movie genre. it goes to mystery movie. mystery comedy, drama mystery, thriller mystery and else. For my own genre, it happends that i am in drama slice of life mystery. i dont have a certain goals for now, i just think after this collage i will help my dad doing family bussiness which is not easy. damn it;s not easy, fuck it. i have one think to go another country start it all make a new kickstarter. have a new life, simple life. But i still dont know if i can make it, i am doubter.

Back in the title, who the fuck am i? this is kind of hard questing to be answered. who am i? i am papin. i am 21 years old. i'm born from middle class family, i got enough money to eat some good food (my parents money of course). i have try make money by own with gamble, that was interesting, but the more i think the more i realize i dont having fun doing that, i got money yes but not that happy. So i back live with my parents' money. who am i? i am lazy. lazy not really, it's like i dont know what my passion is, i do random stuff, watching, listen, read, sleep. i dont have talent to do things, i do it regularly. i am in collage now, i do prefer spending time in room doing study by my own than go to classs meet my teacher and annoying people in class. Not always the teacher are bored, there are some days that they are really good to explain things. i like studying, i like discussion, i love things that really talk about education things that really matter when we learn someting in class. The poblem is i dont know, i just feel like i dont like the object study or i dont know, or maybe the people i studying with, dont know shit. I go to library i read some good books. one of the best book i read is book from dr. dyer. that book is talking about what weakness that we have and how to handle it. that is materpiece. and one book about managerial hotel.. mannn i love hotel!! i want to have one when i get much money. I want to built a good hotel with great hospitality, based on costumer satisfication. I can imagine that feeling when costumer visit your hotel and i was like '' hey my mighty costumer, welcome to our house, we got everything that can give your expectation filled''. Damn i wish i can be manager one day, one day!!!

Who am i? damn i dont know, my mind is random, i love life, i love people, i love my family. maybe my love is jut random, but deeply i know i love this world, everybody love to love, but things in this world make it not simple, they called it sins, they called it ego, evils, some things like that. i dont have conclusion, just live till your last breathe, and we die and we live again.